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5 Signs That You Are A Codependent Parent

 

It is normal for parents to form close bonds with their children throughout their childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

Kristie Overstreet, a therapist, says that certain words or actions can have a negative impact on your child’s emotional and mental development.

“Every parent should help their child.” But, when it comes down to codependency, the parent takes away the child’s independence, which can cause the child to not learn to do things for himself. This can lead to self-doubt in the future.

Overstreet says that a codependent relationship can be described as one where one or both of the partners trusts the other to validate their feelings, opinions, and identities.

There are some red flags you can look out for to help you recognize and curb this behavior. These include passive-aggressive behavior or blaming your child.

1. When you’re upset, blame your child.

You can correct your child if he breaks an established rule.

But if you constantly blame your child for making mistakes about something you don’t know, or if you say that your anger, frustration or sadness is because of this, it can lead to codependency. says Overstreet.

It is okay to make mistakes from time-to-time. It’s okay to apologize and calmly explain what you want to your child.

Overstreet says that if you respond with “I’m right,” “You’re never wrong”, or “I don’t make mistakes as parent”, you are entering into unhealthy territory.

He says, “They don’t admit when they make mistakes, instead of teaching the child, Hey, when we’re wrong, We say we’re wrong and we apologize and try to do something else.

2. You can roll your eyes if your child does something wrong or just keep your mouth shut.

Similar behavior can be displayed by passive-aggressive behavior such as rolling your eyes or slamming your door. Or keeping silent when your child misbehaves. This can lead to a relationship of dependence.

Overstreet claims that these actions teach children to not be in touch and to share their emotions honestly.

Overstreet says that passive-aggressive behavior can lead to negative communication and a decrease in your child’s ability for positive communication with others.

According to her, if a parent is angry or upset with their child it is best to take a walk by yourself. After the parent has calmed down, they can talk to their child about their feelings and accept any punishments.

3. Help your child with homework, homework, and all other tasks

You may also be dependent on your child if you are unable to help them.

Overstreet says that while it is possible to give help with math problems or teach a skill around the house, too much can lead to a child feeling less confident and self-assured.

“So, you have a child that grows up asking everyone for their opinions instead of saying, ‘What do they feel like I should do?’ Says Overstreet.

Instead, ask your child about what he may need assistance with, and then let him make the decision.

4. Ask your adult child whenever he plans to have children.

Overstreet says that parental codependence can persist into adulthood and manifests itself as a lack or respect for boundaries.

Codependent parents often ask their adult children when they will have children.

It can be funny, but if you have a codependent parent who has a child with the same mother, it is like, “Oh wait, a minute. What is wrong with me? Perhaps I need to have children and push my limits. Overstreet says that I am able to push myself “when they are not ready.”

5. Without prior notice, you show up at the home of your adult child.

Overstreet says that another way codependent parents can affect their adult children’s lives is by crossing physical boundaries.

Your identity may be intertwined with your child’s if you feel you can control his life, such as showing up at his house or workplace without warning, or calling him repeatedly until he replies.

Overstreet says that these behaviors can prevent your child from thinking and living independently, regardless of their age.

However, scheduling a meeting or talking on the phone with someone you trust is a sign that you have a strong relationship and are living together.

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