Self-centeredness and tantrums is a characteristic phase of childhood development, during which they are unable to place themselves in other people’s point of view. It is the time of not understanding reasons, since they only understand what they feel and do not “listen” to the feelings and opinions of others. The conflict arises when they are opposed.
Tantrums are very common at these ages. We all hear the typical situation in which a little one takes a toy that is not theirs and does not understand that they should return it. At that moment, for them “that” is theirs and they do not understand anything else. They cannot do it as their cognitive maturity does not yet allow them to do so. That is why it is up to adults to be patient with them and talk.
Although at first it is difficult and it seems to us that it is useless, nothing could be further from the truth. We will be giving you a role model. A model of dialogue, calm, reasoning … that will bear fruit very soon.
And, to facilitate, even more, the passage of this stage of the tantrums so “hard”, we leave you some more advice. It sure serves you.
Establish very clear rules at home (or in class) that are understandable to the little ones and leave no doubts about it. This type of rule, easy for them to understand, is much easier for them to accept than the confusing and contradictory ones.
Be positive. Let them contribute their opinions and value those that are positive. Do not allow negative evaluations and criticisms towards other children (siblings, companions, etc.)
Be firm in your decisions and don’t let them emotionally blackmail you. The only thing you will achieve is to make your son or daughter someone disobedient and capricious. Crying is very easy for them, and they know that they manage to soften us and get away with it. Do not give in to his whim. Simply and calmly, remind them that the rules are what you established and keep them without yelling or anger. When the tantrum wears off, explain more reasons, if necessary, never during the tantrum.
Use stories that deal with themes similar to the situations that the little one’s experience. In this way they will identify with the protagonists of the story and will be able to understand their own experiences better, since they will be able to observe them from a new perspective.
And always show them affection. It is what they need the most. Remember that everything is part of a natural process that must pass and that you are there to guide them.
