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Motherhood: An Exercise In Adjusting Expectations

When I was expecting babyD, I read a lot. I knew I had a lot to learn and I tried to absorb as much information as possible. I wanted to have an idea of what I could expect when he was born, what the normal milestones were, and what I needed to be on the lookout for as potentially “abnormal.” I read books and blog posts, I picked other mommy’s brains, and spent time thinking about those things that I just wouldn’t do (haha). I had my expectations of how things would work.

As a new mom, so many questions kept coming up – thankfully I am surrounded by a support group of local mamas who are always willing to share their experiences and help as they can. BabyD and I grew together. We found a rhythm and a routine. We started figuring out this whole mommy-baby thing together. I learned what the important milestones were and what his doctor wanted him to be accomplishing and when. I learned that breastfeeding isn’t as easy as I thought it would be, and then that I’m not a bad mother for feeding him formula. Expectations were adjusted.

Enter babyD2 and everything has been thrown in a tizzy. Rhythms and routines were thrown out the window and we are making new ones. Expectations are being adjusted.

What I’m learning is that it can be difficult (already!) not to compare babiesD. I suffer a bit from “Well, babyD was doing X by Y age – should babyD2 be doing it now?” and “BabyD was sleeping through the night at X months old – shouldn’t babyD2 be sleeping better?” I think this will be a long-term learning process for me – that is, curbing my tendency to compare and letting each boy grow and develop at his own rate.

So, where are you in your journey? Are you learning that any of your particular expectations are being or need to be adjusted? How are you doing with those transitions?

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